Get Him To Be My Boyfriend: What Every Single Girl Should Know

You are so smitten with this guy and you two are getting along just fine but the problem is you don't know whether or not he feels the same way for you. It's rather complicated for a woman to be in this kind of situation because of so many conflicting views about this matter. Some say that being straightforward is your best bet but others believe that a guy should do all the work. You have to realize that none of these matter because it all depends on your own standpoint and of course the kind of man you are dating. Some men don't seem to care if the woman makes the first move but others prove to be judgmental about it. So, how do I get him to be my boyfriend?

Whatever you do, never fall for those desperate moves like waiting for days to reply to his Facebook or text messages, using another guy to make him jealous or worst getting drunk and sleeping with someone else. If he complains about it, give him that infamous smirk and tell him he is being silly and that he doesn't have the right to question you because you are not his girlfriend. I don't know any planet where these tactics might work! These strategies will definitely backfire and what's worst is you can lose the man of your dreams to some illogical methods.

It's about time that you forget what your female friends are telling you about playing mind games with a man. They have never worked and will never do, at least not in a functional, healthy relationship. How many times do we have to be reminded, ladies, that the male species can't read our minds. If you show a guy you are not interested in him; that is what he is going to feel. He won't sit on a couch and try to figure out whether your text message "I can't see you anymore" really means what it is or it secretly means "Show me how much you want me". Guys do not translate so stop playing those nonsense games that will never give you the relationship you've always wanted.

If you like a guy then all you have to do is to let him know. You may not say it directly but at least make him feel that he means something to you. Don't pretend you are not interested in him at all by ignoring him and acting like a total snob when he is around. If you want him to ask you to be his girlfriend, go back to your sweet, old self. Keep it real and stop the charades.

When it comes to how to get him to be my boyfriend, it's important that you know for certain you are girlfriend material. Don't ever threaten his freedom and drop hints like you don't want to be with someone who spends a lot of time with his friends or playing video games. A lot of guys don't enter in a relationship because they know that all the fun starts to wear out once it goes serious. You want him to commit? Let him know what kind of a woman you are and he can't find the qualities you possess in any other girl. Be confident and avoid being too needy or clingy. You need to have a life outside of him. Know your priorities but don't make them all about him. This does not however mean that you won't make the effort to be aware of his interests and hobbies. If you want to be his girl, you have to keep up with him and learn to enjoy the things he likes.

Dating Emotionally Unavailable Men: How To Beat Them At Their Own Game

A lot of my clients are dealing with men who blow hot and cold, who give conflicting messages, who throw the bones every now and then just enough to keep them at bay but the relationship doesn't really progress or go anywhere.

It is very heartbreaking dealing with an emotionally unavailable man. You never know where you stand or how he truly feels about you. If he's really emotionally unavailable or is just not that into you.

Whatever the reason it's not advisable to take these men seriously. The problem is the relationship is often too good to leave but too bad to stay in. You are stuck. Either way you feel the pain. If you are a woman expecting to marry and start a family soon before your reproductive years cease, this can be very damaging.

You are desperate. You are confused. You are exhausted and resentful.

Sounds familiar?

Emotional unavailability is real. Many men at some point or another, sometimes for no particular reason, are going through this stage. When they are in this mode, there is really little you can do to change their mind set. Words definitely won't do it. They have to process their own feelings until they come out of that state by themselves.

As a woman, it's important to detect this early enough before you get too attached to think straight and do the right thing. Unfortunately, for most women in their 30's and 40's who are still single or have just come out of a divorce or a long-term relationship, coming across this species and dating them -and often falling in love with them- is inevitable. There are so many of these men out there.

Often they will tell you right out of the bat that they are not looking for anything serious but they show intense liking toward you and because they're such charmers these women are falling for them after a while.

Some of them will pursue you hard but then pull away as soon as the conquest is completed.

Some will even offer exclusivity or agree to it in a heartbeat but it's obvious his heart isn't in it. He will still sneak dating or talking to other women and even contacting women on dating sites.

Some of them are just happy being in relationship that is otherwise stable apart from the speed to full blown commitment -whatever that means to the women concerned- is never fast enough.

Whatever the form is, it is no fun being strung along.

Many women, though, think by avoiding these men altogether will help protecting their heart from hurt which is true for the most part apart from dating will be very dull and challenging if you discount these men completely. These men are fun, they can make your day and bring smiles to your face. They make a great company. But then again women always want more even when they have been told again and again that relationship isn't on the table.

What is a woman to do? I give an alternative that actually will actually improve the quality of your dating life and prepare you for the right man: i.e by using these men as your "lab rats" with whom you practice your feminine magnetism and relationship skills with men.

Can you really get hold of your emotions and not get addicted on these men? You might still get addicted if he's that great, but then again you have no commitment toward him the same way he has no commitment toward you. So yeah, have a few of them at the same time! That way you are not unwittingly hooked on any particular one. Hopefully you have a few of whom you like equally, who also adore you.

You will learn so much from these men.

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Get Him to Commit Without Manipulating Him

You've been seeing this guy for a couple of months now- your chemistry is undeniable, you love being around each other and he even engages you in a public display of affection. The signs are so obvious- he is into you. Everything is smooth sailing but the only problem is you are clueless whether or not he wants to take the relationship to the next level. It's totally justifiable why you want more. Nobody can afford to waste time in a relationship that is going nowhere.

Yes, there are hundreds or even thousands of articles and self-help books about making a guy commit but most of them use manipulation. Manipulating a guy to get him to commit to you is not a good idea. I don't care what the experts say, I completely despise the suggestion. It is clearly not how you want to start a serious, loving relationship. If you are going to use manipulation to get what you want then it becomes a regular practice in the relationship. Do you really want to be in a relationship where you have to use manipulation just for the guy to do what you want?

You have to realize that a man's willingness to commit is not a result of a woman's lies and deceit. You don't have to pretend to be someone else to make a man fall in love with you. The mask would have to come off down the track anyway so why bother pretending to be someone you're not? Finding a person who loves you for who you are is very rare and each one of us wants the same thing, right? Just be yourself and let the guy fall for who you really are. You need to do the same which means that you have to accept and love the guy for who he is and not for who you want him to be. If you want a guy to stick around longer then you have to make him feel that you like the "real" him and he is very much allowed to be silly around you. Guys love the feeling of being themselves around a woman. If you are able to make him feel secure about himself, he is going to realize that you are a keeper and trust me; he will never let you go.

If you really like the guy and you are certain that you want a long-term relationship with him then make an effort to find out about his hobbies or interests. If he loves baseball, it wouldn't hurt if you learn the rules of the game so you can sit down and enjoy the game with him. Just don't pretend to be a big fan if you aren't because that is deception. It'll be enough for a man to know that you learned the rules of his favorite game to please him. That will definitely make him feel special.

Another way on how to get him to commit without manipulation is by being loyal to him. You have to reassure him that you are the kind of woman he can trust. A guy will never commit unless he is certain that he is the only guy you are dating. Yes, you can say that they are very territorial. But if you want to ruin your chances of having a great relationship, go ahead and date a few men and do the roulette method to pick a guy. I believe that this is the fastest way on how to drive any relationship to its end. Being in a relationship is pretty simple and I live by one rule- "One should not treat others in ways that one would not like to be treated". It makes sense, right? Whatever you do, always think how you would feel if it's being done to you.

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Is Romance Dying?

Everyone knows that Hollywood tells stories, and that those stories are fictions. Thus Hollywood script writers must always at least partially fabricate history whenever they write movies about ancient ages. So is it possible that our belief that romantic relationships are as old as time, or at least as old as Adam and Eve, are just myths promoted by pop culture? In short, is it possible that the very idea of romantic love is a recent invention?

It may seem odd to you, but there's a substantial body of evidence to indicate just that. Students of anthropology and ancient literature find no evidence of what we now describe as romantic attachments prior to medieval Europe. The first such affair may have been invented by Heloise and Abelard. Prior to that, physical attachments between members of the opposite sex (or even the same sex) were only described in erotic terms, or were based on someone's self-interest in reproduction. In short, love may have recently evolved out of lust. To review the arguments of those who propose this point of view, just go to Wikipedia and look up the entry for "romance."

So why did both Shakespeare and Cecil B. DeMille portray Cleopatra and Marc Antony making goo-goo eyes at each other? It may well have been just Freudian projection on the part of an artist.

As we all know, fashions come and fashions go. Just like any other novel idea that comes into favor for a time, romance may now be vulnerable to passing out of fashion. While mass media vehicles continue to churn out romance-based entertainments, in the marketplace where human sexual relationships are actually forged, it seems that romance may be becoming somewhat old-fashioned. "Hookups" are taking the place of "dalliances," Internet matchmakers' coupling algorithms have taken the place of "love at first sight," "living together" is on its way to taking the place of marrying, and commonplace, even fashionable, out-of-wedlock births have made the whole idea of "bastardy" totally obsolete.

Bryan Sykes, an Oxford Professor of Genetics has even suggested that the end of heterosexual romance may be inevitable anyway. It seems that human males' DNA is more fragile than women's and as a result has degenerated over time. He speculates that men may become extinct. That would leave only women to perpetuate the race by genetic engineering, parthogenesis, or other advanced medical strategies. Would the end of the war between the sexes be a blessing or an indictment of humankind as a whole? Time may tell.

Sounds bleak? Maybe it does. But like it or not, ideas can outlive their usefulness, and as their utility declines they must ultimately pass out of history. So we have to ask ourselves: what good is romance? What has it done for our culture that other fashions have not? For example, romance has by and large replaced the arranged marriage all throughout the Western world, and is on its way to doing so in large parts of Asia.

I think that most civilized people still value romance for some very practical reasons. By creating bonds between lovers that are based on more than just passion, convenience or power, romance promotes freedom. We now freely choose mates based on mutual attraction and consent. And even more, romance promotes bonds colored by mutual compassion and care rather than mere lust and an objectified, possessive desire. In short, romance-based relationships make us more human. We can see ourselves at our best as more evolved beings who have progressed above our animal origins. Seen that way, the impulse to throw romance under the bus suggests a reversion to barbarism, a retreat from a more advanced ethical platform. Is it a sign of our civilization's decline?

History evolves in mysterious ways. When you're caught up in its currents in mid-stream, it's hard to see where you're heading. None of can be certain of where immediate changes may lead us, or why we seem so determined to go there. But as individuals, we can still make our own choices.

For my part, I choose romance. It may cost me more at Christmas or on her birthdays, or certainly on Saint Valentine's Day. But I'm old now enough not to feel compelled to follow all fashions. And romance is one idea that's brought great value to my life, in ways that passion alone never did. Romance lives on in my heart; I can only hope that it does so in yours.

Sincerely: Mike Riley

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How to Get Him to Be More Serious Without Giving Him an Ultimatum

Men don't like to be threatened which means that giving him an ultimatum is the last thing on earth you want to resort to and I don't care what your mom or girl friends say. If you want to get him to be more serious, an ultimatum is not the answer to your dilemma. I would tell you why it is never considered as a solution in my book. An ultimatum is a self-serving way for somebody to get another person to do something or to change. For some, it's sort of considered as a validation. It's nothing but a manipulative or forceful way to have things your way. No matter what your reasons are for pressuring someone in doing something they are not comfortable with, things will only get worse. Do you really want your man to resent you? Are you going to be happy knowing that you forced someone to be in a relationship with you?

Don't ever initiate having "the talk" unless you've done everything that will hint him that you want to get serious or exclusive. If you sit him down too early and ask how serious he is about you, you might just end up scaring him away and this is definitely not the outcome you are vying for, right? If you insist on bringing it up, make sure you are ready for the consequences. Will it be OK if he comes out clean and tells you that he enjoys sharing the bed with you and nothing else?

There are subtle ways on how you can make a guy commit without having to hand him a dreadful ultimatum. The most important thing you can do is to show him that your world doesn't revolve around him and you have a very interesting nook outside your relationship. Men love being with self-sufficient, secure and independent women. Don't cancel a night out with your girl friends the moment he messages you that he is free tonight. Let him know that you stand by your priorities and sometimes it's not all about him.

Take up dance classes or flying lessons, whatever prevents you from smothering him. You can even book that vacation at the Bahamas you've been dying to take. The thought of you being in a bikini in a sexy island full of hot men will drive him crazy jealous. Going away will make him realize how life is without you around. Once there's something he is competing your attention for, he will start to question where he stands in your life. If a guy is truly interested in you, he is going to have a conversation with you about your relationship and where you are actually headed.

Another way on how to get him to be more serious is by making him feel that you two have unspoken commitment to each other. Don't date other men and don't flirt with every guy you come across with otherwise you will make him think that you are someone who can't be trusted. It's very important for a guy to feel secure before he can fully commit himself into a relationship.

If you've done everything to make a guy commit but he still refuses to then it's about time that you move on and keep your dignity. Knowing when to quit the fight will save you tons of heartaches and tears in the end. There's no reason why you should try to change a man and hope that things will change for the better because they don't usually do. Learn how to accept that not everything we want can be ours.

How to Get Him to Be Exclusive

If you've been dating a guy for a couple of weeks or even months now and he hasn't mentioned anything about you two being exclusive, it's time for you to bring your A game to the relationship. The most important thing is to know whether the guy is serious or just fooling around. But as a woman, it's hard to be in a situation like this because we are taught to wait patiently until the guy is ready to have "the talk". More often than not, the reason why a guy hasn't established exclusivity yet is because they see your relationship as casual. It's even worse if he is still seeing other women. Maybe he's not ready for a long-term commitment. So how do you get him to be exclusive without scaring him away?

Unfortunately, this is where a lot of us don't have any idea how things work with men especially if we are talking about those who scare easily. The problem with men is that they dread having a serious talk, they hate confrontation, enough said. If you start bugging him to define your relationship or if you constantly drop hints that you want him to be more serious, instead of speeding up the switch from casual to serious, you might end up getting the opposite result.

The very first thing you have to observe is how he acts around you. If you've had your share of relationships before, you are one to most likely know if the guy is acting like your boyfriend. Does he engage you on a public display of affection? Is he always eager to see you? Does he make time for you? Does he make an effort to surprise you once in a while with your favorite ice cream? If the answer is yes to all those questions then you are headed to the direction that you desire.

You have to find a way on how he can tell you whether he is seeing someone else or not. You can do it in a not-so-obvious way and say something like "You probably have a bunch of girls lined up to have a date with you". No matter what you say, make it sound flirty and not demanding or judgmental. If he tells you that he is not seeing someone else then this is the perfect time to ask him why. At this point, there is a big chance that he will tell you that he's already found someone and that is you.

What if his answer is not the one you've been longing to hear? If a guy tells you that he is casually dating and he can't promise you exclusivity then it's time to reconsider your options. Are you willing to wait for things to happen or are you ready to move on and keep looking? I can't stress enough how critical it is to know why you should stay in a relationship. If you are not comfortable with how things are going and you don't see them changing for the better anytime soon then there is no need for you to keep trying. You can't punish yourself just because you are dating a guy who won't commit.

If you think you can't afford to waste time anymore then it's reasonable that you engage your man into a "talk" if you want to get him to be exclusive. If you are going to do this make sure you have a back-up plan just in case he says NO. Are you ready to face the consequences if things don't turn out the way you expected?

Get Him to Admit He Likes You by Letting Him Know You Feel the Same

Times have changed which means that hiding your feelings won't get you the relationship you want. Gone are the days when women would act nonchalant but deep inside they are dying to profess their love for someone. Playing games will not get him to admit he likes you so stop pushing the guy away by pretending that you don't care about him. Sure you have to wait a couple of minutes or even hours for you to return a call or reply to a text message but do you really have to do this all the time? If you really like a guy and you want a serious relationship, I suggest that you stop playing manipulative mind games or you'll ruin everything.

One of my favorite authors, Dr. Henry Cloud, said that adults should treat dating like how children do in elementary school. They just let their feelings out without thinking whose side of the court the ball is in. Yes, go about it in a non-dysfunctional way. If we start doing this way, maybe there will be fewer breakups in the world. Forget about using jealousy to win a man's heart. You think that flirting with somebody else will keep the guy you like interested in you? What about acting like you are not interested at all? None of these tactics will get you to the path you want to take. If you keep playing games, you will sabotage every potential great relationship you can have. Getting the upper hand is not the best way to start a healthy relationship with someone.

While it is terrifying to put yourself out there and admit to a guy you are into him, as long as you know what men are looking for in a woman, you'll be good to go. Make sure you take a few steps so you can prepare before you approach a man, but if you are not brave enough to blatantly say out the words "I like you" out loud, there are few sneaky ways on how you can get the message across. Flirting can help but if you go for a kiss hello or goodbye or a long, sweet hug, it will make him feel really special. Giving a guy a compliment can also serve as a good start. Not only this will let him feel good about himself but he is going to love you for it.

You can also show a man you like him by doing something special for him. If you are good at cooking and baking then use it to your advantage. Men love women who can whip up delicious meals. And yes, the phrase "A way to a man's heart is through his stomach" remains true and applicable to this day. Prepare a special meal and invite the guy that you are interested in. Men always want to share their meals especially when the woman cooks. Let your cooking impress him.

Start a conversation and keep it fun and positive. Ask him about himself and his hobbies. Make him feel that you are interested in him by paying attention to every word he says. Let him talk about his work and his achievements. If you want to get him to admit he likes you, talk closely. Be charming and smile at him. Smiling generates good feelings. It makes the atmosphere more positive and enticing. Men are innately drawn to women with a charming smile. Make eye contact but don't stare at him because he might think you are weird or you are the making of a crazy stalker. Lean your body towards him so he'll know that you want to get closer.

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