Men don't like to be threatened which means that giving him an ultimatum is the last thing on earth you want to resort to and I don't care what your mom or girl friends say. If you want to get him to be more serious, an ultimatum is not the answer to your dilemma. I would tell you why it is never considered as a solution in my book. An ultimatum is a self-serving way for somebody to get another person to do something or to change. For some, it's sort of considered as a validation. It's nothing but a manipulative or forceful way to have things your way. No matter what your reasons are for pressuring someone in doing something they are not comfortable with, things will only get worse. Do you really want your man to resent you? Are you going to be happy knowing that you forced someone to be in a relationship with you?
Don't ever initiate having "the talk" unless you've done everything that will hint him that you want to get serious or exclusive. If you sit him down too early and ask how serious he is about you, you might just end up scaring him away and this is definitely not the outcome you are vying for, right? If you insist on bringing it up, make sure you are ready for the consequences. Will it be OK if he comes out clean and tells you that he enjoys sharing the bed with you and nothing else?
There are subtle ways on how you can make a guy commit without having to hand him a dreadful ultimatum. The most important thing you can do is to show him that your world doesn't revolve around him and you have a very interesting nook outside your relationship. Men love being with self-sufficient, secure and independent women. Don't cancel a night out with your girl friends the moment he messages you that he is free tonight. Let him know that you stand by your priorities and sometimes it's not all about him.
Take up dance classes or flying lessons, whatever prevents you from smothering him. You can even book that vacation at the Bahamas you've been dying to take. The thought of you being in a bikini in a sexy island full of hot men will drive him crazy jealous. Going away will make him realize how life is without you around. Once there's something he is competing your attention for, he will start to question where he stands in your life. If a guy is truly interested in you, he is going to have a conversation with you about your relationship and where you are actually headed.
Another way on how to get him to be more serious is by making him feel that you two have unspoken commitment to each other. Don't date other men and don't flirt with every guy you come across with otherwise you will make him think that you are someone who can't be trusted. It's very important for a guy to feel secure before he can fully commit himself into a relationship.
If you've done everything to make a guy commit but he still refuses to then it's about time that you move on and keep your dignity. Knowing when to quit the fight will save you tons of heartaches and tears in the end. There's no reason why you should try to change a man and hope that things will change for the better because they don't usually do. Learn how to accept that not everything we want can be ours.
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