Thursday, May 31, 2012

What To Do When He Pulls Away From You

Are you involved in a relationship and you feel like your man is beginning to pull away from you? Are you wondering what to do when he pulls away? Do you feel like everything was going along nicely in your relationship and you had finally found your soul-mate, when all of a sudden he pulls away from you for no apparent reason?

Does this describe your situation to a tee? If this is the case, then rest assure that you are not alone. There are countless women out there who are in the exact same situation and are at a total loss as far as what to do when it seems like their relationship has taken a turn for the worst.

So many questions might be running through your mind like is he losing interest in me, does he not love me anymore, or is he interested in someone else? These types of questions can drive you crazy especially if you don't have any answers to go with them.

Women Like To Talk Things Out

The natural response for any woman when her man pulls away from her is to try and get closer to him. We will call or text him even more and ask him what is bothering him. We will try our damndest to get inside his head to try and figure out what is going on. This can prove to be a big mistake and only make the situation worse, and will result in him pulling away even further. That is the last thing you want to do.

While women like to talk it out when they are having problems, men are the complete opposite. They like to work it out on their own. If you keep asking your man what is wrong he may not necessarily answer because he knows it will be followed by more questions that he may not be ready to answer.

There could be many reasons why he is trying to pull away or it might be you who just perceives that he is trying to pull away. Maybe he just wants to spend more time with the guys. But whatever the case may be, you have to know how to handle the situation correctly, so that it works in your favor and you don't aggreviate it further.

Pulling Away Comes Natural To Men

For men, pulling away is a very natural thing for them to do. When they fall in love or they feel like the relationship is moving to the next level, they might feel vulnerable so they at some point will pull back as a way of holding onto their sense of who they are. What they are really doing is identifying with who they are, their life and most importantly their independence. What they are doing is trying to strike a balance between the relationship they are in with you, and their sense of self and their independence.

The reason that he might be feeling that vulnerability right now is because he has come to the realization that he is falling in love with you and that the relationship is moving to the next level. Instead of popping the question, he might panic because he realizes that at this stage of the relationship, you may want some form of a commitment.

He on the other hand, might be quite comfortable with the way things are and as a result, is not interested in taking it to the next level. This is unfair to you, especially if you have been with him for many years. Most likely, he is feeling overwhelmed by his feelings for you and the whole relationship.

Give Him Some Breathing Space

The first thing that you need to do is give him some space because obviously there is something really bothering him and he doesn't want to talk about it. Don't worry, you won't lose him even though it might feel like that is what is going to happen if you don't grab hold of him. By giving him his space, while he deals with his fears of commitment, you at the same time will be able to try and put your feelings into perspective.

By giving him some space, you will be giving him some time away from you so that he can sort out his feelings towards the relationship. When he pulls away from you what he is trying to tell you is that he needs some space and time to think. I know that this will be very painful and difficult time for you to handle because you won't know if he is coming back or gone for good. But I think by giving him some breathing space, you will be allowing him to realize how much you do mean to him and that he can't live without you.

Time Away Makes The Relationship Stronger

With time he might realize that his world is incomplete without you and that you are the one that he wants to spend the rest of his life with. That time away from you might help him to come to those realizations. Once he sorts out his feelings and gets his life in order, then he might be ready to make that commitment that you have long been waiting for.

Understanding what to do when he pulls away from you will help you to understand the process that he is going through and why he is doing this in the first place. If you are aware of what is he going through and you don't put undue pressure on him because you are afraid you might lose him, then he might actually be more drawn to you because you are giving him his space and not making demands on him when he needs some time to himself.

So the key here is to not act too needy towards him. Let him know that you can handle this time apart no matter how helpless you might be feeling.

In the long run this time away from each other might actually make the relationship much stronger because both of you will have given yourself time to sort through any doubts you might be having about the relationship.



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