Should I Give Him an Ultimatum? Three Reasons Why NOT

When it comes to trying to secure a commitment (whatever the kind of commitment you want) from a man who has been dragging his feet on it, sometimes out of sheer desperation to get him to force him to make a decision either way, we women sometimes resort to making ultimatums.

And at this point, if you are thinking about an ultimatum, you've probably been waiting for him to make a decision for a long time since an ultimatum is a threat really.

You've had enough and you want him to know that you mean business!

Either he makes up his damn mind or you are out of there...

And you would expect that this would work since you two have been seeing each other for a while but somehow it never quite works out how we expect it to.

Here's why:

1. Men do not respond well at all to threats. But think about it, do you respond well to threats? Does anybody?

I'll tell you what I do when somebody tries to force me to do something, I do the exact opposite and yes, I have always been that way. Don't ask me why...

Now imagine you threatening a guy to get him to do something that he obviously doesn't want to do right now, OR he would have done it already, right?

Think about it...

How do you think he's going to take it? He'll rebel against it and most often the more pressure you apply, the more resistant and stubborn he's going to be because he feels as though you are backing him into a corner.

2. If you have reached the point where you feel as though you have to give him a direct ultimatum, you should rethink how you feel about the situation.

Do you really want to be with a man whose hand you had to force to get a commitment? Really?

If he doesn't want to commit to you, he probably has his reasons and that's fine. Let him be.

He may not want to commit to you now or ever but what you will not do is try to get him to commit to you by twisting his arm with an ultimatum.

3. You better be ready to stand firm by your threat and leave if he does not give you the answer that you expect to hear.

If you hesitate and give him a second or third chance, you might as well just give up trying to get whatever commitment you wanted because you have lost all credibility.

He knows that he has you right where he wants you. As many times as he delays giving you an answer and giving you what you want, you are still there by his side - albeit complaining and throwing temper tantrums about it- but you are there all the same!

So if you continue to stay and put up with whatever he is dishing out, what is his incentive to change his behaviour or thought process?

Where is his incentive to move toward the type of commitment you want?

He has none.

This article is brought to you by SINGLES.