Tuesday, June 5, 2012

When Men Pull Away - Four Ways to Keep Your Distance!

Have you ever experienced a man shutting down on you and backing off? Sometimes you are not even entirely sure why his is pulling away, bur your just know he is because you can read the signs.

Was it something you did?

Is he having a bad day?

Is he busy at work?

Is there someone else in his life?

The questions that go around and around in your head are endless and they end up making you do things that you probably shouldn't.

So that if he was pulling away for whatever reason, your actions to get him to talk to you and tell you what is wrong would probably seal the deal that he'd never want to talk to you again!

So whenever you sense that a man is shutting down and pulling away, though what you'll read next is counter intuitive, the following four tips are what you should do.

1. Keep your cool.

If you read nothing else after this first Point you would have got it. When you sense that a man is pulling away, you immediately want to know why and wonder if his pulling away is signalling the end of your interaction or relationship with him.

You could go into a blind panic at this stage and end up pushing him even farther away because of actions like calling him or texting fifty times a day in a bid to get him to tell you what's wrong. Keep cool and do nothing. Do NOT panic.

2. Give him his space.

If he never wants to call you or speak to you again, so be it but give him the space and the time without interference to make up his mind.

Remember at this stage you do not even know exactly what is wrong. If you push him to tell you, when clearly he'd rather not even be around you, that will ensure that you do not get him to open up and tell you what's wrong. Men do not like to be pressured so leave him alone and give him his space.

3. Pull back.

This differs from Point 2 though the result is the same - creating space. In Point 2 you are giving him HIS space but in this Point, you are taking YOUR space.

If he feels that he needs space away from you or that he is not comfortable enough with you to talk to you for whatever reason (because at this stage you still do not know what the problem is), then you do need to evaluate your interactions with him.

What is it that you want from him and are you getting it? Are you two going in the same direction?

Evaluate him and see if he and you really are good together. What type of problems have you two been having and what are the root of those problems?

Are they problems that can be fixed? So that regardless of what happens you would have taken stock of the current situation which would guide you in moving forward.

4. Get busy with other projects.

When you have taken a few minutes to evaluate your relationship with you, you start a plan to move on with your life whatever happens.

What do you have on your to do list for the rest of the day or the rest of the week. Start putting things in place to get things done. Go out shopping or to the movies with a girlfriend.

You do this to get some "you" time and a fresh perspective. You do not constantly want to be thinking of him and what he is doing and why is pulling back.

Remember HE pulled back so he has some issues to work through, let him work out his issues and you go have some fun!



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