Granted some men just really do have issues and would run the other direction anyway but for the ones that really just want to get to know us better, sometimes we tend to do too much too soon.
And don't think for a minute that men are immune to this. Haven't you ever met a guy who said to you on the first date that he wanted you to be his girlfriend?
Um, what? Can I just finish my drink first?....and then hightail it out of here...
That happened to me twice and twice I did the same thing, got out fast. There was no second date.
There really is a lot to be said about coming on too strong too soon.
So what are some of the other things can can explain why men pull away?
1. Acting insecure and clingy.
I think this can be best explained by citing fears. When you are afraid of something bad happening between you and a man, regardless of how far into the relationship you are, you start to act out those fears in a way that comes across as being insecure and clingy.
So for example, you may be afraid that he isn't completely into you (just an example, can't think of a better one right now) and so you try to do things to get his attention and reassurance that he is indeed into to you.
So you call him way too often: want to see him every day of the week and get upset when he can't see you because he wants to hang out with his friends; want to do everything with him and go everywhere with him...
You see what I mean?
It's almost like you are smothering him. You aren't giving him space to breathe or time to think. If this happens too often or too soon, he will pull away.
2. Angry outbursts
It's when you lose your poise and your class - in other words you lose control of yourself. While you may think this is ok to let him know what you feel and to give him a piece of your mind, to a man, if this happens too often, he knows the type of hold he has on you. Once he knows this, he will push all of your hot buttons - every one. He is able to do so by saying or doing certain things to manipulate your emotions.
The problem is that when he gets a really good read on you, he's not interested in you anymore because you are too easy to control.
He'll look for someone else that he cannot control and who he cannot read!
3. Getting overly emotional
This is somewhat linked to Point 3 above since having an angry outburst is getting emotional.
However, think about dissolving into tears if he tells you something nice or does something nice for you.
Or think getting overly emotional about something bad happening in your life and then expecting him to help you to solve the problem.
Then imagine these happening more than once. He begins to feel somewhat uncomfortable because you are becoming emotional about things that may not warrant it that level of emotion.
So in the end it boils down to you being able to control yourself and your emotions just like in Point 3. Remember you control you, he does not.
4. Talking too much about the future
Before you and he became an item, did you know that he existed? You had a future that would not have featured him in it, right? Therefore stop talking about your future with him in it as though if he were not in it, you'd have no future!
And especially if he has not got to the point you are at yet. If he has ever mentioned while talking to you that "he is not ready", depending on where you are in your relationship, that is your cue to chill and never bring it up again or evaluate your relationship or interaction with him and see if you two are going in the same direction. If you are not, then perhaps there is no need to discuss the future with him anyway.
This news article is brought to you by LOVE - where latest news are our top priority.
No comments:
Post a Comment